Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.
An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true.
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.
Well, it’s love at first sight. Actually, it was… No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.
Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.
I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.
Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.
Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.
I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.
I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.
If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead.
I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.
Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable.
I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it…
Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.
Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It’s like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.’
Ok, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.