20 Hilarious Michael Scott Quotes

Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject. So you know you are getting the best possible information.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Well, it’s love at first sight. Actually, it was… No, it was when I heard her voice. It was love at first see with my ears.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Jan is cold. If she was sitting across from you on a train and she wasn’t moving, you might think she was dead.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

I don’t come up with this stuff, I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest the guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

I had a great summer. I got west nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. And I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected. Even though I peed on it…

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Sometimes you have to take a break from being the kind of boss that’s always trying to teach people things. Sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It’s like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, ‘Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth.’

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

Ok, too many different words from coming at me from too many different sentences.

— Michael Scott (Steve Carell)

michael scott quotes

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